Funny aquarius horoscopes

High maintenance would be an understatement when describing these aesthetic pleasers.

Who knows…maybe you enjoy wearing blame proudly? As for marriage, rest assured that your languishing Libra has buried it nice and deep next to their late Uncle Ned. Libras are always searching for their perfect other half to complete their whole, yet, never feeling whole. This twisted little trait explains why the scales, that so perfectly represent them, are always empty on both sides.

With nothing to weigh, they have nothing to decide and this makes them very, very, happy. Knock, knock, my wishful friend. I hate to burst your fantasy bubble but your Libra love is perfectly capable of making decisions. They defy all logic and reason. Try not to lose too much sleep over this tiny, insignificant, fact because no one else will. Aquarians are kind to everyone, cheerfully ignoring anything you have to say. You can always pick out an Aquarian in a crowd.


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They're the ones dressed a bit off, the one's trying out a new dance move they just invented, and the ones who could care less if you like it or not. You are irrelevant and simply take up space. If an Aquarian is showing brief interest in you, it's only because you're stranger than they are. As soon as they have siphoned and dissected every morsel of your brain, they'll flip you off like a light switch and walk away.

Chin up, my friend! Save your humiliation for another day or another sign.

The Aquarius Woman: Love, Sex, Friendship, Style

An aqua-air person is incapable of recognizing your emotional pain. Some even speculate if they're capable of any human emotion at all! When it comes to companionship give up now because they have no heart. Set your sights on an easier target, which would pretty much be anyone else, and stop wasting your time on this alienistic specie who barely speaks your language. Wipe your tears and move on! Can you say boring? Get a life Capricorn! The rest of the world seems to be able to figure it out. Plodding along methodically, Cappies remain ever focused on their goals, gradually and persistently reaching the top.

Finding little air to breathe at such altitudes, they suffer the effects by refusing to lower themselves to where real life flourishes, leaving their heads swooning in lofty aspirations. These high climbing goats adore looking down from their mountain of mass achievements and send loving waves to all their old friends below. The problem is that the naked eyes of their feebled friends are unable to view the well wishing gestures from such heights, leaving the gandering goat gloating when left with no reciprocated response.

Out of sight, out of mind is an ever present reality most Capricorns fear. Eventually, extreme loneliness calls their retreat and they reluctantly inch their way back down to the land of lowlies to feast on praise.

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Thank you, oh great ones, for allowing us the pleasure of basking in your light. Trapping themselves in their own little game of "validate my worth," they continue presenting a facade to a world that has more things to worry about than paying them homage. So what! The small number of friends they did have left them long ago.

When it comes to companionship, rest assured, this creature of habit can do routine like no one else! Who needs spontaneity, with its dreaded element of surprise, when you can have someone who will be the same today, tomorrow, the next day and the next day and the next day and the next Need I say more? That bus has left this station!

Today, we know all that suckling paid off. Heavenly gifts seem to pour down upon the serendipitous Taurus Bull. Almost from infancy, they seem bestowed with musical abilities, a dusting of magic Foo Foo powder, and a luxurious sense of pleasure. Their motto is, "If it feels good, tastes good, looks good, sounds good, and smells good, jump in head first and rub it all over! This is what's so fun about astrology. Sure, the stars can help guide you in your love life , or point you in the direction of a spicier sex life. Checking your horoscope might even be a factor in a small career decision.


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But sometimes, it's fun to look up your sign just for the hell of it in order to learn more about what makes you "you. If you've ever done it, isn't it funny how perfectly the traits seem to match your personality? Whether you know a lot about horoscopes and check them daily, or just research the zodiac for fun, it's hard to deny how spookily spot on the traits can be.

Read on below for some more fun facts, like how Pisces love lucky number seven, or that Geminis are the sign most likely to win the Nobel Prize. Whether the info helps guide you in life, or is simply something to talk about parties, there's no denying zodiac signs are super entertaining. If you were born under the Aquarius sign, then I bet you're known for your fierce independence.

But did you know your sign might also explain why you're always freezing? In a totally unrelated fun fact, Aquarius people tend to have perpetually cold hands and feet. That's because, as astrologer and Feng Shui expert Donna Stellhorn says, "Aquarius rules circulation in the body. Pisces are creative AF and usually dabble in the arts or work in an artistic field.

They also, according to Brook Belong on OdysseyOnline.

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Have you noticed a trend with sevens following you around? Maybe you look constantly look at your watch at ? If so, "it can indicate good timing for scholarly or adventurous endeavors," Belong said. Aries, a sign known for its confidence and courage , fosters a lot of of natural born leaders. One thing many of them have in common, as a result, is a scar on their forehead. Perhaps one of the signs most notable flaws actually comes from their love of knowledge.

Their humor may be an acquired taste for som e , but those that get their dry, sarcastic comedy are usually left in stitches.

Funny Horoscopes

Being one of the most sarcastic zodiac signs , their dry nature is so ingrained in them that they often are being funny unknowingly. A common misconception about this zodiac is that they are emotionally-closed or stunted. When you have big plans and ideas, sentiments can sometimes hold you back or cloud your vision!

With that being said, continually suppressing emotion is unhealthy as these feelings will eventually manifest themselves in some shape or form. It seems that such suppression can act as a burden on Aquarius after a while, as this emotion shows itself in the very occasional anger fit. Quality over quantity seems to be the policy for Aquarius when it comes to friends in their life.

As mentioned they sometimes have difficulty allowing people, but when that deep connection is made, nothing will break it. Aquarians approach life knowing that there are lessons to learn at every stage and turn in your life. This introspective attitude makes Aquarius a sign that is particularly adept at learning from their previous mistakes.

If they ever leave open an opportunity to take advantage of them or their kindness, that will definitely be the last time it happens. Aquarius will never stop learning more about the world, a task made easier by the fact they have a knack for understanding and picking up novel ideas extremely quickly. As air signs are gifted regarding communication, people and books tend to be their most useful resources.

What to Expect From 12222, According to Your Sign

When looking for a long-term partner, mental stimulation is the aphrodisiac of choice. As a member of the air signs, communication and the exchange of ideas are things which excite Aquarius.

Negative Aquarian Behaviors

As one of the most intelligent zodiac signs , Aquarius doesn't have time for useless jargon. In terms of the zodiacs which are lucky enough to have strong compatibility with Aquarians, the other air signs Gemini and Libra are the two best suited zodiac personalities. Not quite as well-matched but still highly compatible, the fire signs Aries and Sagittarius also go well with Aquarius. Find out more about Aquarius compatibility here.

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